IT
IT
by Dave Palcsak
It never stopped. Drugs and alcohol calmed It for a moment, but that moment didn’t last. Even during that moment, you knew the moment was very temporary and destined to end in despair. But somehow that never stopped you from calling on It. And that made It more powerful. You knew It wasn’t right. It was completely untrustworthy and poisoned everything It encountered. The last thing you needed was more drugs and more alcohol more frequently. But that’s what It wanted, and It was consuming you more and more by the day. Drink more, snort more, smoke more. It wanted that, It craved that. You tried to suppress It, but It was alive, and you couldn’t kill It. Sure, you tried, more than once in fact, but you could never finish the job; not even close. The only alternative was to embrace It and love It. You would absolutely have to keep It until It killed you. That’s ok you said, at least I’ll die happy. Another lie. So, you fed It. And like every other reptilian creature, the more you feed It, the more It grew. It affected your commitment to honesty, It made you less loving, It diminished your integrity. But It mostly allowed you to keep what you believed to be your intact memory. Why? Because It wanted to give you a false sense of security. It knows that your memories are part of you, and It wanted everything. It is an expert on causing your memories to justify the very behaviors It caused. It skewed the past. It caused you to feel that you were wronged so often, you had a right to finally live only for your own pleasure. Ironic, because It brought no actual joy. Part of you knew how wrong It was, but It was taking over and that still small voice in your head was almost inaudible. A feeling of utter hopelessness was literally weighing you down. There was nowhere to turn. And then came time for It to celebrate because It had won. It exists only to kill and destroy all that’s good in any way It can, and It reduced you to a shell. Drugs and alcohol are Its’ frequent, but far from only, partner. It was wearing you down and death seemed inevitable. That’s Its’ greatest achievement; bringing you to your grave stripped of all dignity, thinking anything positive about your life must have been in spite of you, certainly not because of you. But It celebrated prematurely. The Almighty crushes the vile reptile every time He’s sincerely called upon. It thought It had you, but you finally decided to repent and acknowledge that you are powerless against It. But our Heavenly Father can liberate you from any evil. And all evil comes from It. Abide in Him and It flees away. Whatever It is that you struggle with, you’re not too late. Believe, repent, get baptized and call on Him. It really is life or death. This is a true story about me and countless others. God wants to set you free from any bondage. Trust in Him. He is worthy and greater than any problem It can cause.
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